windyboy
02 June 2005, 17:32
Staff at Belfast Zoo were reported to "not give a f**k" about the escape of their rare Spidey Monkey at the weekend.
The Spidey Monkey (Chavensis Ballbaggus Buckfastii) is proving particularly elusive, as it has uniquely adapted to life in an urban environment.
A zoo spokesman said, "The spidey monkey can actually camouflage itself, chameleon-like, and has been known to replicate even the complex patterns of Burberry baseball caps in order to fit into its surroundings. Its communication skills are limited to grunts and hysterical screeching so it could remain unnoticed amongst any group of ferals in West Belfast".
"We don't really give a f**k though cos the wee b**tard's been costing us a fortune in Steiger, KFC and B&H", he added. "Though with a bit of luck it'll be glassed to death outside The Beaten Docket some Saturday night. Problem solved!"
The Spidey monkey, which answers to the name "Mackers", was last spotted trying to buy 3 litres of Strongbow and a packet of red Rizla in the Curleys in Andersonstown.
The Spidey Monkey (Chavensis Ballbaggus Buckfastii) is proving particularly elusive, as it has uniquely adapted to life in an urban environment.
A zoo spokesman said, "The spidey monkey can actually camouflage itself, chameleon-like, and has been known to replicate even the complex patterns of Burberry baseball caps in order to fit into its surroundings. Its communication skills are limited to grunts and hysterical screeching so it could remain unnoticed amongst any group of ferals in West Belfast".
"We don't really give a f**k though cos the wee b**tard's been costing us a fortune in Steiger, KFC and B&H", he added. "Though with a bit of luck it'll be glassed to death outside The Beaten Docket some Saturday night. Problem solved!"
The Spidey monkey, which answers to the name "Mackers", was last spotted trying to buy 3 litres of Strongbow and a packet of red Rizla in the Curleys in Andersonstown.