need some witty lines for a 40th birthday card
22 September 2005, 01:01 PM
#31
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Originally Posted by P1-Brad
Not all jokes are funny, and you of all people should know that!!
And there's only one moron on this thread and i'm sure if we held a poll it would prove conclusively that it's you!
And there's only one moron on this thread and i'm sure if we held a poll it would prove conclusively that it's you!
Getting back on topic when a joke was originated it's creator presumably regarded it as 'funny' regardless of anyone else's take on the matter. Similarly I regard wiping the floor with suckers like you as pretty amusing which is all that matters.
22 September 2005, 02:37 PM
#32
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There's much to be said for "age and treachery".
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking
her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her
direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles
down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around
here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard
with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that
conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking
her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her
direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles
down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around
here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard
with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that
conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age
22 September 2005, 03:47 PM
#33
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Originally Posted by TruthHurts
I thought you called on another thread for everyone to ignore me. You are contradicting yourself yet again fool.
Getting back on topic when a joke was originated it's creator presumably regarded it as 'funny' regardless of anyone else's take on the matter. Similarly I regard wiping the floor with suckers like you as pretty amusing which is all that matters.
Getting back on topic when a joke was originated it's creator presumably regarded it as 'funny' regardless of anyone else's take on the matter. Similarly I regard wiping the floor with suckers like you as pretty amusing which is all that matters.
[This is the point at which you deny that you're Nacro, nope, never heard of him. Thing is, even the denials come in the same form.]
22 September 2005, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by the moose
Nacro, you've got to stop using the same vocabulary. Specifically, your overuse of the word "sucker" in whichever guise you adopt has proven to be your Achilles heel.
[This is the point at which you deny that you're Nacro, nope, never heard of him. Thing is, even the denials come in the same form.]
[This is the point at which you deny that you're Nacro, nope, never heard of him. Thing is, even the denials come in the same form.]
22 September 2005, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by TruthHurts
Moose I've haven't denied anything. I find it rather touching that one of my alias' seems to have hit a raw nerve with you and others though. How sweet of you to remember. Sucker
Genuinely not bothered - you just go on the ignore list.
22 September 2005, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by the moose
more a disinterested "change the record" feeling.
Can't help thinking you're talking crap though otherwise you wouldn't have bothered posting. It's good to know one's made an impact.
22 September 2005, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Luminous
Nah, your a scooby moron...not a scoobymoron
Would be more funny if they put you down as a scooby mormon
Would be more funny if they put you down as a scooby mormon
22 September 2005, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by unclebuck
"Sorry you had such rubbish middle management, I've resigned."
Don't go trying to reflect the chips on your shoulder on me
22 September 2005, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by TelBoy
I think Scooby Moron is funny 
I could be Scooby Pedant
Why would oxyscoobymoron be better though? What's oxymoronic about TruthHurts?
I could be Scooby Pedant
Why would oxyscoobymoron be better though? What's oxymoronic about TruthHurts?
22 September 2005, 04:52 PM
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So Diablo,
Have you selected a "winner" from the contributions.
Maybe you should just print the whole lot off and put it in with the card and say
It could be worse - you could end up like this bunch of tossers.
Have you selected a "winner" from the contributions.
Maybe you should just print the whole lot off and put it in with the card and say
It could be worse - you could end up like this bunch of tossers.
22 September 2005, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by TruthHurts
Something to do with a palpable lack of veracity in anything I've posted..............ever.
22 September 2005, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by ajm
offset somewhat by the palpable lack of credibility to go with it....
22 September 2005, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by TruthHurts
Can't ever remember looking for any credibility although I did have one once. Where did I put it.......oh yeah it's in my other user account.
22 September 2005, 05:07 PM
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Because a incredible lie is an impotent lie.
A liar might, on finding out that no one had believed any of his guff all this time, be somewhat mortified!
A liar might, on finding out that no one had believed any of his guff all this time, be somewhat mortified!
23 September 2005, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Reality
So Diablo,
Have you selected a "winner" from the contributions.
Maybe you should just print the whole lot off and put it in with the card and say
It could be worse - you could end up like this bunch of tossers.
Have you selected a "winner" from the contributions.
Maybe you should just print the whole lot off and put it in with the card and say
It could be worse - you could end up like this bunch of tossers.
Jasey, nice one - sums it up well
Oh, and Alan, are you stalking me as well now
23 September 2005, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Diablo
Oh, and Alan, are you stalking me as well now
23 September 2005, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Redkop
Whatever it is Alex... he still gets stalked by you
It was obvious Scott wanted attention when he was attempting to 192 me.... he can't complain now he's got it!